HEALTH PT. I
Health & Some Trials
December 11th, 2016 // 10:58PM // AVØn, Colorado
Artist: Paramore // Song: Careful // Repeat: IIIIIIIIIIIIIII
" Shifting your weight
To throw off the pain
Well you can ignore it
But only for so long"
- PARAMØRE |||
:::
I have been shifting my weight, since I was born. These “pointe oh chapters”, will be about how Liquide Air / Liquide Sessions came to be, and why music has been my fucking ultimate outlet as well as some things about myself that will upset some people, or maybe if they open their minds, enlighten their view on the myself and the world as a whole.
Aww ... How Precious << Insert: Utah Relief Society Accent
I was born on November 26th, 1984. I was adopted from Calcutta, India, by the BEST parents in the entire world. I was born 13 weeks early. The story I have is very unique, and some of these lyrics will play a part here soon, and throughout this entire book, which I still don't know what the hell to call it. I hope some sort of “Music God” like Apollo, will help me. Maybe that is why I am drawn to music in the first place and my obsession with that culture and time period.
I was born at; three pounds and six ounces. This is where it becomes interesting. My whole family, as in my siblings, are all adopted from different parts of the world. My sister and brother Lisa and Kenny were adopted from the USA. My brother and sister Sunny and Jay were adopted from Seoul, Korea; and my sister Analee was adopted from Tonga. Yeah, my parents were doing the whole, “Angelina and Brad Pitt” thing way before it was popular!
My birth event goes like this. My sister Sunny and Analee were sick with chicken pox, … Song change: Fast In My Car, Paramore ... and my mom was praying that I would not come as they knew I was going to be a very premature baby, for that time, in India.
My awesome parents were currently residing in Cedar City, UT. They did not want me to arrive, shipped, whatever you want to call it yet, because of my sisters being sick with chicken pox, and lone and behold, I was the first baby in 1984 to contract chicken pox in the orphanage. Thus, I was delayed another six months. #ThatWouldHaveBeenBlackFriday #iWonderIfThatsWhyIAmDrawnToIt.
I was then #ShippedOver in a #WovenBasket with another baby named Keran. #RealLifeMosesShit
It was an #IndianCustom that the last baby to come out the basket was able to keep that basket. #GuessWhoWasTheLastBabyBitch :)
song change: Pierce The Veil: King for a Day (feat. Kellin Quinn of Sleep with Sirens). This music video is so fucking awesome.
You know, things were going great. I was active in #Soccer #Basketball, also a little league football team, til I got #Demolished by one of my #OLine Teammates in practice of football and then my scared mother took me out.
I remember like it was yesterday. Lol Ohh the traumatic, “memory burns” of childhood. Life was like the breakdown in that song above “Fuck with this new beat. OH!”
:::
So lets jump into it. I remember this way too vividly, even though it was so long ago. I had just turned 16 and I went into the doctors office for a regular routine, physical to pass for basketball. I went into the doctors office and I was feeling ready for the season! #FuckingPumped. I was just about ready to walk out, I was putting on my jacket, about 20 steps away from the exit door, and my doctor stopped my mother and I. He said, “ hey you know what, lets do one more test.” I being young and naive was like, “ umm okay.”
What kind of test? He said, “ well we need to draw some blood” as they too me back to the lab area, the doctor happened took my mother into another room and talked about something. What it was I did not know. Yes, at that time, I HATED NEEDLES, it was a big deal, I had my blood drawn and then had to go do a UA or Urine Analysis. The Doctor was going to “Rush” the tests, and asked us to stay a little longer for the results. #ItFeltLikeHours #PlusIAlreadyReadAllTheInterestingArticlesInTheMagazines, this was way before #SmartPhonesKids.
I asked my mom what was going on. She was like, “We just need to wait and see the results of the tests.” Once those tests came back, which was like an hour, the doctor then again took my mom into another room and then came out and told me. “Devin, something is wrong with your urine and blood.” I had no idea that urine could go wrong, I just knew that it changed colors sometimes, as in clear or different shades of yellow.
My blood, at that age, I just didn't understand, how blood could go wrong either. Was I vampire? Or a Zombie? I was hoping for either one. The doctor then told me, “Devin your urine has traces of blood and protein.” I then asked, “ umm what? I didn't see any blood in there.” He explained that it was on a microscopic level. He then said that I needed to stay “in town” in case “something happened.”
I asked, “well what could happen?” He explained that I needed to go to Children's Mercy in Kansas City, Missouri soon, for a Kidney Biopsy, but the soonest available time would be two weeks.
My mom then told him that we had just won the “Family of the Year 2001” in the town of Blue Springs, MO. Which, entailed a 19in Panasonic Television, (which was huge back then), a Hy-Vee (local supermarket) gift card for $150, and a fucking two day pass for Disney World, as well as Hotel Accommodation for four days.
Yes it was pretty awesome, never again did they do such an expensive “Family of The Year”. The only sucky part was that it did not include travel. Luckily, we had an Osage, Ford Minivan. Yes, it was one of the bitchin' models with #MaroonCurtainsAndChairs #Fancy
However, as awesome as my dad was, once it hit night time, (Eight slash Nine O'Clock) he became into scary driver. Meaning, the rule of thumb that we told everyone was that if you went on a road trip with our family, fall asleep fast, or you would be awake for a long time, as you were scared for your life!
The reason being, my dad would hit the side strips almost every 15-20 minutes. I remember, many trips where I was awake while the rest of the family was asleep, and we would make eyes contact in the “rear-view mirror”. I just knew, I was safe.
Many hours with my father in the car, and we would talk about whatever. I cherish those moments even more now, with my father. He is such an amazing person, I can't even describe in words, how much of an example he is.
Song change, Foo Fighters: Everlong // I LOVE David Grohl. I am SOOOOO glad, I had the chance to finally see them!
My father would then hit the side warning “rumble strips” on the interstate, for drowsy drivers, even though he was never really drowsy as he would take Two 250mg No-Dos, sometimes more. Which are caffeine pills. Yes, thats a ton, but there were no energy drinks, and we didn't drink coffee. Yes, that shit could make you “crash” as in sleepy-ness, as well as Very Dangerous for your heart. We didn't really know any better. Sorta like in the 70s when they figured out that drinking alcohol and smoking cigarette were bad for babies. Yeah, medical technology did not accelerate at the speed it does now, “young gun millennials” even then, all things ingested or medical anomalies should be researched and funded more on the effects on your body. Not sure how the politics of that comes into play, but I bet a lot more than we think.
Up until the two weeks before we headed out to Florida, I remember trying to get my brother Jay to get off work and come with us to Florida, but he could not get off work, it sucked, I just wanted our whole family experiencing Disney World for the first time together. My mom was constantly asking if I was okay and limiting my time with my friends and other weird random things. I was like okay, I will just play some video games. Maybe beat Sonic 2 again.
So, we arrived in Florida. Our hotel was not a bad one, we had palm trees around the pool, and the room well, actually was way “sketchy,” as I think about it. I remember, we went to like a Florida Nostalgia store, it was two levels and awesome. I picked out a Florida shirt and a toy.
I woke up super early for the nice #ContinentalBreakfast, but we missed it. So #MickeyDeesItWas! We had to wait a little while for a #Tram to take us then to another #Shuttle. We then arrived at Disney World, and it was sooo much more than I expected.
My brother Kenny and I went on a lot of rides together. We figured out on the second day that our tickets worked for Fast Passes. Back then you would insert your ticket in the passenger carousel, and it would spit out tickets for what ride you were currently near. My brother and I rode the Tower of Terror six times in a row. Yeah, don't do that, it can make you “super fucking queezy” aka sick to your stomach.
Song Change: Armor for Sleep: Smile For The Camera. I know that I will be thrown into a couple situations that “ that were never as bad as I thought it was.” Once this company launches, Well.... maybe, maybe not. This band is so amazing, especially their album “What to Do When You're Dead, yes, that album in particular will be mentioned in this book. Speechless, many papers wrote about that album and how I was affected. Hopefully, I can find the last one I did.
My brother Kenny and I had just come off the new #RockinWheeler ride, courtesy soundtrack of #Aerosmith. I had purchased this “ROCK STAR” access pass. I have always wanted to be the one, singing in front of people that love you and your have your music, that hits that “surreal button”.
As we were walking back to meet up with my family, this hottie yelled, #NiceAss!, as I was walking to the meeting spot. She was sitting on a bench, waiting for her family also, as the park just announced it was closing, I felt great about that because, if you know me, I have no ass! Maybe, it was that little pick me up I needed.
Because, #RightThenAndThere, all the sudden, I could not walk anymore. It had finally hit, the #JointPain. It felt like someone had just switched off my ability to walk. My brother Kenny, decided to #PiggyBack me the rest of the way, because, he saw the pain I was in, as I could not walk. I started to cry, because I just didn't understand. #ImGettingALilEmotionalNow
Right then and there, I almost collapsed. I was dependent on my brother, he carried me the rest of the way. Sorry, for the break. He actually carried me again in my life, you know that one time when you #AlmostDie at your sisters wedding. Damn, all these memories are flooding back to me. Shit, man this is fucking hard.
As we got back in the car, I was crying even harder because, I had tried to walk but #Nothing, I did not fucking understand why I could not walk, I was #Helpless and thought I was #Paralyzed. My family sitting there, #Silence, as they are just trying to calm me down, but at the same time not wanting to accept what the hell was really going down. The people in the shuttle on the way back looked at me like a I was fucking crazy, it was a hard thing to feel their harsh energy on top of everything that was unfolding before #MyEyes.
My brother then carried me to the hotel room and thats when #ShitBecameEvenMoreReal. I remember I wanted to swim but I could not join my family. I sat and watched TV, as some of my family enjoyed the pool. My mom and sister Analee were in the hotel room at that time. I believe that is when I was starting to understand what my doctor had said earlier. I also, became very aware that my body was shutting down, and shutting down fast.
However, all I could think about was my family swimming. I love water, and anything water related, hence the name #LiquideAir / #Liquide Sessiøns, I am obsessed by how many things you can manipulate with this extraordinary element.
The ride home, all I could do was listen to music, and pray. My parents almost flew me home, but I wanted to be #Strong for myself, but also my family.
After the blessed-ed trip, I have my appointment at Children's Mercy the next day for a Kidney Biopsy. I was scared that I would wake up during the procedure, I had a very vivid dream about it … well guess what, I woke the fuck up! I remember looking at one of the nurses and I said, “hey where am I” ?, as I looked around, and then she “gassed” me, right as I turned and looked at her. I still remember the #HorrorOnHerFace
Along with that story, as I back track a little bit. I was sitting in the “pre- surgery”. A PERFECT
song change:
::: The Early November: The Rest of My Life
First day of the rest of my life
I never wanted to go
A blank stare from a positive mind
is all I wanted to know.
Brought up by the love of my life,
though never knowing it shows
In no time I'll be counting the line
between my sickness and gold
(this spaceship is out of control)
Little did I know this was the “first day of the rest of my life,” literally. I had a “beyond positive mind” going into this whole thing, but its was “a blank stare” an “Unknown Abyss.”
So, I was sitting in pre-operation, and the nurse was drawing blood for protocol or thats what she told me. I was sitting on the gurney and she pricked me and then for some reason she left to go obtain test tubes or something. I was then sitting on the table, I was not really paying attention, because back then I could not look at needles.
I then look down and I began to spew out blood all over the place. I said, “ Umm... should this be happening? As Blood was flying all over the place. My heart would beat and then shoot more blood, like #OldFaithfulOnAnOffDay. She came rushing in and slipped on the blood, but caught her self. I almost jumped down from the table to help her, but they #SpecificallySaidToNOTMove, so I Obeyed.
It took then another 30 minutes to clean up the mess, as blood was everywhere, I was not “sickened” out by the blood, it was somewhat weird, as I should have been, because up until then I was, but I wasn't. I was very calm, and had “faith” that things would work out. Little did I know, I was completely wrong and right in ways. I never thought I'd EVER fucking know …